Desert Bookshelf Publishing Banner

Follow me on
Follow James on FaceBook   Follow James on Twitter

Bertram & Gertrude
BUY NOW
Amazon Logo


This title
has been viewed
1653 times

Pop Score = 0.94The Pop Score calculation is based on the intial entry date into the FRIENDS WITH BOOKS database and the average number of views it has recieved since. “Bertram & Gertrude” has scored 0.94 views/day.

To improve this number copy/paste the link above into your favorite social marketing sites. Blog, Tweet, Email, Facebook, whatever. Tell your friends, family and fans, everyone you know.

Bertram & Gertrude
by William Frederick

Imagine this...

Bertram, the epitome of the antiquated British patriot, takes a much needed holiday from his demanding job as a bumbling Intelligence Analyst at The Ministry. He flies to Amsterdam to meet up with Gertrude, after a separation of twenty five years. She is the woman he should have married all those years ago and is still the love of his life.

Will they get on after all this time? Will she want his body? What would she do with it? Could she still be that naughty? Why is he asking you?...

As fate would have it, they get seconded into the Dutch Secret Service to help fight a dastardly gang of Chinese, criminal, drugs blighters.

Whilst our two heroes go about their investigations, Bertram is horrified to learn that the wicked gang have kidnapped Gertrude!

Tormented, Bertram has to get her back - whatever the cost!

Why? Because Bertram has finally realized that life without Gertrude is like a pencil with a broken tip – pointless.

Observing 'Moscow Rules' and with the help of a bunch of friendly Scouse chums and a bee hive, Bertram extracts his terrible revenge in a heart-pounding climax!

This book's got it all. Humour, romance, intrigue, hot erotic rumpy-pumpy, heart rending thrills, plenty of home-rolled, carrot-shaped, pure weed, spliff-cigarette-reefer-joint-marijuana-roach-type doobies and not forgetting the all essential take-away food.

You will laugh... You will cry... but you won't want to put your Kindle down until you've finished reading Bertram & Gertrude's Steamy Amsterdam Weekend!

...Also, the author's wife says it's a Thumping Good Read! So download it now while stocks last!
 
 
Lilo Abernathy
Lorraine Adair
Garrett Addison
Suzi Albracht
Karen Aldous
Tasha Alexander
K.K. Allen
Pam Alster
George Angus
Christine Ardigo
Kathryne Arnold
Tace Baker
Daisy Banks
Judith Barrow
Mark Barry
P.S. Bartlett
Jon Batson
Gonzalo W. Bénard
Warren Bell
Donalie Beltran
Mary Ann Bernal
Steve Berry
Derrick R Bickley
Kimberly Biller
Harry Bingham
Paul Bishop
Alan Black
Maxwell Black
Savannah Black
Sonya Black
B.A. Blackwood
Jennifer Bohnet
Maureen L. Bonatch
Bruce A. Borders
Claude Bouchard
Martha Bourke
Gillie Bowen
Philip Boyle
Peter C Bradbury
T.J. Brearton
Laurie Breton
Frederick Lee Brooke
E. Douglas Brown
Mackenzie Brown
Susan Buchanan
Taylor Ann Bunker
John Burdett
Harvey Burgess
Anna Burke
Carol Burnside
Grace Burrowes
Frances Caballo
Dani J Caile
David Callinan
S.W. Cannon
Lauren Carr
Suzie Carr
Michael Carrier
R.C. & J.P. Carter
Wendy Cartmell
D.K. Cassidy
David C. Cassidy
Philip Catshill
Paul Centeno
Daniel C. Chamberlain
Diane Chamberlain
Stephen Charlick
Jennifer Chase
Penny Childs
Max China
Billy Ray Chitwood
Kathy Clark
Clint Clay
John-Paul Cleary
Harlan Coben
JaQuavis Coleman
Alfredo Colitto
Stephanie A. Collins
Lori Connelly
J. Conrad
James R. Conway
Doug J. Cooper
Lynn Cooper
Kathleen M. Cosgrove
Doreen Cox
Stephen Craig
Chelle C. Craze
Bill Cronin
Sally Cronin
Bette Lee Crosby
Paul Cude
Murielle Cyr
Steven Daniel
Seyi Sandra David
Elizabeth Davies
Timothy Davis
Mark Dawson
Tamie Dearen
Joyce DeBacco
Charlie Deer
H. I. Defaz
Maya DeLeina
Darlene Deluca
Richard Devall
Barbara Devlin
Deirdre Devlin
Jake Devlin
Amanda DeWees
Marjorie Doering
John Dolan
Charles Dougherty
Stephen Douglass
Tricia Drammeh
Lillian Duncan
Steve Dunn
Amber Lea Easton
Clive Eaton
Stacy Eaton
Peggy A. Edelheit
Dave Edlund
Kendra Elliot
Wayne Elsner
Martha Emms
Sarah England
Will Farrar
Tamara Ferguson
Charity Ferrell
Joseph Finder
Mary Firmin
Christoph Fischer
Maureen Fisher
Robert C. Fleet
Penny Fletcher
Teodor Flonta
Kenneth Fore
Melissa Foster
Echo Fox
William Frederick
Taylor Evan Fulks
Diana Gabaldon
Emelle Gamble
Malika Gandhi
Colleen Gareau
Jennifer Gibson
Carole Gill
Lee Gimenez
DelSheree Gladden
Robert Goolrick
D. A. Grady
Electa Graham
Avery E Greene
Gen Griffin
Mr. Dana Griffin
Cherley Grogg
Roger Grubbs
Heather Gudenkauf
Alastair Gunn
Jenny Hale
Kathy Lynn Hall
Rebecca Smith Hall
Steve Hamilton
Craig Hansen
Alan Hardy
Andrew Harkless
Dianne Harman
C.A. Harms
J.B. Hawker
Wodke Hawkinson
Samuel Hawley
Garrard Hayes
Gayle Hayes
Tim Heath
Brian Heffron
Libby Fischer Hellmann
Gary Henson
BZ Hercules
Anna Herlihy
Teri Heyer
Janet Muirhead Hill
Martin Roy Hill
Sandra Hill
J A Hinsman
Tami Hoag
A. A. W Hodge
John Holt
Kay Hooper
eden Hudson
June Hyjek
Terry Irving
Jane Isaac
Dani Jace
Lilian Jade
Amalie Jahn
Lila James
Lori James
Angela Janacaro
Stephen Jared
Stephen Jennison-Smith
Peter John
Clive S. Johnson
Shelli Johnson
Katy Huth Jones
Patrick Jones
Wendy H. Jones
Jeff Joseph
H.E. Joyce
Denise Kahn
EM Kaplan
Angelica Kate
H.A. Kay
Kristy Kay
Danny Kemp
Celia M Kennedy
Celia Kennedy
William Kenney
Sophia Kimble
Crit Kincaid
Tara Kingston
Christina Baker Kline
Christine Kling
Dan Knight
Skye Knizley
Mira Kolar-Brown
Elizabeth Kostova
Carla Kovach
Thérèse Kraemer
Therese Kraemer
Michael Kroft
J.P. Lane
John Lansing
Linda LaRoque
Larry LaVoie
Gunnar Lawrence
Gunnar A. Lawrence
David Leadbeater
Andrew Lennon
Marilyn Levinson
Annie Douglass Lima
Gary Lindberg
Sharon Linnea
Jenny Lloyd
Neil Low
Sherrie Lowe
Elizabeth Lowell
Travis Luedke
Tarrin P. Lupo
Rebekah Lyn
Terri Lyndie
Ria MacAlister
Juliet B Madison
Paddy Magrane
David Lee Malone
Morgan Mandel
Don Mann
Giselle Marks
Elisabeth Marrion
C. Henry Martens
Peter Martin
Kate L. Mary
Yvonne Mason
Don Massenzio
Constance Masters
M. R. Mathias
Nicola C. Matthews
P. T. Mayes
Wyatt McIntyre
Stephanie Parker McKean
Brianna Lee McKenzie
Scott McPherson
Jean Mead
Jean Henry Mead
K. Meador
David Menon
Ruby Merritt
Emma Michaels
Maria Michaels
Maureen A. Miller
Julia Mills
Mark Mills
Nikki Minty
Felicia Mires
Deborah R Mitton
Juliet Moore
Marsha A. Moore
Patrick H. Moore
Jan Moran
Faith Mortimer
PJ Morvant-Alexander
Janet Muirhead Hill
Cerece Rennie Murphy
DJ Murphy
Roy Murry
Linda Nance
Jake Needham
Willie Nelson
Johnny T. Noctor
Christina North
Lydia North
Vonda Norwood
Brien O'Raighne
Katie Oliver
Mardi Orlando
Elaine Orr
Jude Ouvrard
James Paddock
Jennifer Paddock
Mary Paddock
Mary O Paddock
Terri Paddock
Kate Papas
Robert B. Parker
Fanita Moon Pendleton
Sharon Cupp Pennington
Mike Penny
David P Perlmutter
Christopher David Petersen
Penny Clover Petersen
C. J. Peterson
Anne Pfeffer
Roanna M. Phillips
Carol Marrs Phipps
Jodi Picoult
Michele Poague
Wendy Potocki
Julie Elizabeth Powell
Ann Pratley
Karen Prince
Jill Pritchett
David T Proctor
Lord David Prosser
Regina Puckett
John Rose Putnam
Nicci Rae
J.R. Rain
Charlotte Raine
Rebecca Raisin
Melodie Ramone
Andy Rane
Jan Raymond
Lucille Redmond
Paul Rega
Tony Riches
D.J. Ridgway
Micheal Rivers
Julia Robb
Stacey Roberts
Sarah Robinson
Tracey Rogers
Jan Romes
Luke Romyn
Chris Rose
Georgia Rose
M.J. Rose
Susan Rose
James Ross
Joann Ross
Luca Rossi
Alynia Rule
Wally Runnels
Russell
Nick Russell
Jan Ruth
Francesca Salerno
Elyse Salpeter
Richard J. Schneider
Jinx Schwartz
Michael Allan Scott
Marc Secchia
Gigi Sedlmayer
Robert Shaw
Lauren Shelton
Jack Simmonds
Diane Sismour
Deanna Lynn Sletten
Richard Smiraldi
Helen Smith
Joseph Souza
Bev Spicer
Dana Stabenow
Staci Stallings
L.A. Starkey
Gary Starta
Michael J. Stedman
Carl Stevens
Laurie Stevens
Maggie Stiefvater
Elise Stokes
Aidan Stone
Ray Stone
Robert Storey
Susan Stovall
Cheryl Strayed
William Stuart
Faith Sullivan
Ian Sutherland
Steven Suttie
Ann Swann
Cleve Sylcox
P S Syron-Jones
Gina Tang
Cheryl Kaye Tardif
Laura Taylor
Steven M. Thomas
Eric B. Thomasma
Robert Thornhill
Eileen Thornton
JJ Toner
D.G. Torrens
Linsay Townsend
Joan Treacy
Maureen Turner
Richard Turner
Pavarti K. Tyler
Terry Tyler
M. W. Tyrrell
Jessie B. Tyson
Tom Upton
Sylvia Valevicius
Deb Vanasse
Sedona Venez
Larisa Walk
J.H. Walker
Shiloh Walker
Grace Walton
Randi D. Ward
Susan Ward
The Brothers Washburn
K J Waters
Linda Watkins
Ruth Watson-Morris
J.L. Weil
Charles E. Wells
Mike Wells
Thomas Whaley
Carol White
Edwina J White
Mark Whiteway
Claudia Whitsitt
Douglas Wickard
Caron Kamps Widden
George Wier
Julia Wild
Elizabeth Egerton Wilder
Eric Wilder
Jasinda Wilder
Alison Williams
Jackie Williams
Rusty Williamson
David Niall Wilson
Jeffrey R. Winters
Tom Winton
R.T. Wolfe
Harlan Wolff
Donna R. Wood
Rubianne Wood
Gae-Lynn Woods
Cynthia Woolf
Medeas Wray
Hilary Wynne
Emmy Yoshida
P.C. Zick
Wayne Zurl
   
462 AUTHORS
Don't go away without
checking out these...
Death On The Pedernales
by
George Wier

DescriptionWho killed Edgar Bristow, millionaire philanthropist and war hero? In a small Texas town where everyone knows everyone else, the list of suspects can be every person you meet. What dark secrets wait for the man who is unafraid to turn over any stone? And will the killer strike again before Bill can get to the truth?

Freya 800AD
by
Jean Mead

DescriptionViking Era Fiction - Freya Sigvat lived more than a thousand years ago at the beginning of the Viking raids on Britain. When her husband, and the men of the settlement, sail across the Norse Sea to wreak havoc on Britain, Freya is left to manage the almost deserted settlement. Knut, a man of the mountains with a warped and cruel mind crosses the threshold of her family longhouse with devastating consequences. In a cruel twist of fate, Freya is forced to desert those she loves to live in isolation. Surviving through a long dark winter with wolves and bears roaming the frozen wilderness. This is the story of a remarkable woman, her heroism and terrifying adventure.

The Moscato Diaries
by
Fanita Moon Pendleton

DescriptionDon’t test my Gangsta!

Introducing the Moscato Brothers of Louisiana. Family tragedy and struggle are no match for their determination and heart. Follow them as they attempt to take back everything that was taken from them and more.


Bad Elephant Far Stream
by
Samuel Hawley

DescriptionBad Elephant Far Stream is an animal story for adults, a novel about the odyssey of a circus elephant, told from her own perspective, through her own eyes. Inspired by the true story of the circus elephant Topsy, it begins in the forests of Ceylon in the late 1860s with the capture of a baby elephant known to her own kind as Far Stream. She is taken to America and sent to the Adam Forepaugh Circus in Philadelphia. There, Far Stream embarks on a new life under the big top, appearing as “Topsy,” part of Forepaugh’s famed elephant dancing quadrille. She crisscrosses North America for thirty years with the circus, experiencing hardships, kidnapping, escapes and adventure. But when she comes to outweigh her keepers by a factor of forty—it’s hard not to hurt somebody. It’s hard not to be “bad.”

A Cold Day for Murder
by
Dana Stabenow

DescriptionKate Shugak returns to her roots in the far Alaskan north, after leaving the Anchorage D.A.'s office. Her deductive powers are definitely needed when a ranger disappears. Looking for clues among the Aleutian pipeliners, she begins to realize the fine line between lies and loyalties--between justice served and cold murder.

The Last Sabre
by
James Paddock

DescriptionThree weeks after her mother’s death, Rebecca (Reba) Price cannot stand the oppressiveness filling her Texas home. Her sister, aunt and maybe even her father blame her. She cannot disagree. Hacking into her father’s accounts she takes what she sees as her rightful inheritance and escapes to school in Montana. She convinces herself it’s not to be near where her mother died nor near the sabre-toothed cats. However, as her freshman year ends, she is drawn back into those mountains, only to discover that the plot, which drove her mother to sacrifice herself for her family, is alive and well. As the body count rises--human and sabre-toothed feline--Reba must call upon all her inner power to find a way to bring it to a final end.

The Short Book of Short Shorts
by
George Angus

Description

This little collection of stories is in what's known as a “flash fiction” format. Flash fiction is typically a story that can be told in 1,000 words or less. It creates a bit of a challenge for the writer in that with that kind of word limit every word is precious and needs to have impact.

For readers, the advantage in these kinds of stories is that they are bite-sized. This book is easily readable in a single setting and the stories are varied enough to hold your interest. I tend to write in a conversational tone and this will be evident. What is also evident is the use of everyday language, hence you may be subjected to harsh language on occasion. Trust that there is no profanity just for profanity's sake. If you enjoyed these stories, I would appreciate you taking a minute and posting a review.

The Stories

Sickhouse – The ultimate act of revenge on an inanimate object by a man convinced the house is the cause of all his problems.

Questions and Answers – Sometimes, age is not a boundary in friendship.

The Story of Charlie Z – The all-American neighborhood and who may lurk there.

Perfect Weekend – An account of a truly magical weekend.

Fading – Come be a part of a writer's descent into madness.

Xnortherner – A humorous take on living in the great north.

The Writer's Fable – A setting in a distant time with implications in today's world.

The Crazy Lady Who Yells At Her Dogs – A favorite of the author. Every town in America has a person like this.

The Christmas Story – A true story of hope and good cheer during the holiday season.

Night Stocker – An obvious play on words or something different?

The Good Night – A breautiful story of love and redemption in old Scotland.

Even Steven – Based on actual events, a perspective of life and death.

Trouble In The Stacks – Quiet in the Library, please.


Coerced
by
Mr. Dana Griffin

DescriptionOn landing at New Orleans’ International Airport, Omega Airlines 737 goes off the end of the runway. The investigation into the incident reveals the crew rushed to land before an approaching thunderstorm. Months later, reporter Stacy Greenier confronts Omega Airlines 737 Fleet Manager, Kyle Masters, asking pointed questions. Her mysterious behavior makes Kyle reluctant to contemplate the issues she questions until evidence is hidden from him, and his questions are answered with vague replies. People involved in the incident begin dying. With the help of NTSB Investigator Lori Almond, Kyle learns there’s more to the incident than a crew rushing to land.

Big Lake Lynching
by
Nick Russell

DescriptionWhen a young Apache man is found hanging from a tree on Cat Mountain, Sheriff Jim Weber and FBI agent Larry Parks go on the hunt for the killers and by the time their investigation is over, the idealistic cover is ripped from the little mountain town of Big Lake, revealing old prejudices, resentments, and hatred.